After my Facebook post last week about the importance parents have in recognizing the warning signs that their child is struggling, I had several teachers ask for a copy of the letter I send home for parents to tell me about their child. You can find the letter on my Teachers Pay Teachers page. I currently have it posted for free! You can find the full letter by going
HERE
This is so sad. I am happy you have been doing this. My wife has taught nearly 30 years and has made similar efforts. The place that parent apathy shows most vividly is at parent-teacher events. In the past, it was the families of the lesser economically advantaged that you could expect would miss the meetings. She works in an affluent school. There are very high standards from professionals regarding their child's performance. Yet it is rare that at these events she sees more than a dozen of her student-body's parents actually there, and the number is falling. I grew up with parents who were good, conservative, middle-class people; but, they were not sophisticated and so they typically were not able to defend their concerns formally. Instead, we had dinners together, all of us, at the kitchen table. We were not permitted to have phone calls interrupt us. We were not able to read at the table, except the Bible. We certainly were not permitted to watch TV. My mum sat with us while we did our homework. The people who say that there are too many other things to do, citing activities, etc. are substituting these events for actual parenting. Kids do not need to be active in every sport. They are running away and hiding from their responsibilities, and blaming their distractions for the decisions they made to create them. I hope you start getting more letters again, and I hope my wife gets more parents again.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your bravery, your dedication, and your hard work. I love getting to know my kids teachers. But now I have two in the same school a year apart. It has made it really hard. I do make myself available at all times for their teachers and I have taken the time to get to know coaches, the principle, and the my kids counselors.
ReplyDeleteBeing a single mom of 3 amazing kids with different personalities, needs and ideas, I sometimes feel like I'm failing as a parent.
About a year or so ago I had my first hospitalization with a string to follow. This made me look at not just myself but my family, to whom I fight tooth and nail to maintain.
Am I making a difference in their lives and if so, is it positive? My oldest, Joshua, answered first. "Yes mom. I wouldn't have gotten this far without you by my side." To follow was my middle child, the only girl, Jordyn. "Mom, you are my best friend. Your always there for me." By this time my eyes are welling up with the warmth of tears when my youngest son chimes in, "If it weren't for you being by my side, I would have given up a long time ago."
Each of my kids made it clear, yes I'm a good mom because I'm present. Not just in the same room kind of present. I'm there, listening, supporting, and putting the pieces back when the world rips and tears at them. My biggest gift to them I believe is shutting my mouth and not judging them for who they are, what they love and what they don't love. Listening, we all want to be heard but not judged. Okay, thats all well and good. I know I can't protect them from all the wounds they will get. Some things I can do, make our home their sanctuary. One place they know they are safe and free to be themselves without petty jabs or the butt of a joke. Is it enough? So, far it's working. Josh is turning 24 has moved out and is engaged to a future doctor. He went to college for a year and though he didn't want to disappoint me, left school. He worked very hard and in less than a year was promoted to Assistant General manager of his store. Jordyn is still really shy but is stretching her boundaries by being involved in NHS and K-pop club, as well as volunteering. She has a gentle soul and works hard. I have to remind her its ok to have fun. And there is Nick, my baby who is singing his heart out in men's honor choir, is a survivor of deep depression and is on the track and field team. He survived his friends suicide which pulled him into a dark place. As a family, we pulled together and fought for him. It meant a lot of trips to the ER, community reach, and counseling. We all understand, it will never be truly over. But when his depression rears its scary head we learned to ban together.
As for us, we have been to several rock concerts, music festivals and a YouTube event. Unfortunately, I've been on LOA since November. But, I too am a fighter.
As a single mom of three, I have dedicated my life to theirs. Facebook, my cell phone, bars and clubs, can take a backseat. Because, I am blessed with kids who actually like being with me and being with each other. Yeah, I'm broke and my health sucks goat feet. So what! We are truly happy. And that is worth more than any fancy IPhone, coach purse, selfie post or xbox on the planet!
I love this so much. And I'm sad so few parents respond.
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